No one delivers sarcasm quite like Mr. Alda
Remember the M*A*S*H theme song?
You know, that peppy little number that brought in the choppers so that good ole’ Alan Alda and friends could repair the wounded in Korea?
Well, did you know that song has lyrics? I believe they go a little something like this (okay, exactly like this)…
Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see…[chorus]:
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it’s too late, and…[Chorus]
The game of life is hard to play
I’m gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I’ll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.[Chorus]
The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I’m beat
and to another give my seat
for that’s the only painless feat.[Chorus]
MASH
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn’t hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but…[Chorus]
A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
‘is it to be or not to be’
and I replied ‘oh why ask me?’‘Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
…and you can do the same thing if you choose.
Grim shit, right? Not quite as peppy as the song these lyrics accompany, are they?
The song was written for the film version of MASH (starring Keifer’s poppy Donald Sutherland as Hawkeye instead of Mr. Alda) by the director’s 14 year-old-son.
That’s correct, the M*A*S*H theme, which is about suicide, containing the lyrics, “The game of life is hard to play, I’m gonna lose it anyway,” was written by 14-year-old Mike Altman, son of famed director Robert Altman (MASH, THE PLAYER, NASHVILLE).
How depressing and lovely.
So, just remember next time you catch the opening credits of M*A*S*H*, that “Suicide Is Painless.”
A startling revelation for some, a comforting reminder to others who love how bittersweet M*A*S*H* could be.
(And if you already knew that the MASH song has Lyrics, I apologize. I had a longer blog entry on Comic Books started, but lacked the stamina to finish it… today…)
